Why the 'When Harry Met Sally' Mantra is Bollocks

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Monday, 8 May 2017

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The mantra that is at the centre of the classic rom-com When Harry Met Sally is that men and women can never be friends without one falling in love with the other or an attraction leading to sex and then the friendship being messed up by those complications.

My first thought about that statement: UTTER BOLLOCKS! It’s completely ridiculous and has so many problems associated with it.

But then again, I still love the film.

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I have a major problem with the mantra if you hadn’t already guessed, but I do still love the film and will probably watch it countless times during my lifetime. The mantra of the film just seems a bit ridiculous to me, and perhaps a bit sexist in thinking that a man can’t control himself and that a woman will just fling herself at anyone vaguely interested. It’s an odd thing to suggest than no man and woman can ever be friends without anything romantic or sexual getting in the way, I suppose I must go and tell all my male friends that our friendship must be cut off, put to an end, because we’ll obviously inevitably end up having sex one day and that’ll ruin everything – even with the gay ones.

But then what about the gay men and women? Can’t they be friends with a person of the opposite sex, because even then they’ll end up having sex despite the fact that they’re not attracted to their ‘friend’? The logic is heteronormative and ridiculous.

But you know what, I still love the film (not just because of Carrie Fisher, although she does play a huge part in my love for the film). It’s a classic and one of the ultimate romcoms, so as an avid rom-com lover, how could I not love it? Many romcoms are problematic in oh so many ways, so in a way, they are kind of my guilty pleasure. Except the fact that I feel no guilt whatsoever.




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5 Things to do in Pembrokeshire

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Friday, 5 May 2017

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Not everyone will know the county of Pembrokeshire – it’s the bit of Wales that sticks out on the bottom and is most well-known for its world-ranking beaches and castles. The county is a popular tourist destination and I wanted to share some activities you could do if you are one such tourist.

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1. The obvious one… have a beach day!


Pembrokeshire beaches are some of the best in the world, and I’m not just saying that! To get a better idea of Pembrokeshire beaches, check out my post on some of my favourites!

2. Visit the seaside town of Tenby


Tenby is a town a love and one of the most well-known from the county because of its Insta-worthy seafront and history. It’s a popular destination for days out in the summer and can get quite busy, so I will warn you on that, but there’s a variety of things to do: have a pot of prawns from the fisherman’s, get some rock or fudge or Pembrokeshire Pasty, walk on the beach, go to the Tudor Merchant House, or just have an explore - the list is extensive.

3. Explore one of the many castles and discover their individual histories


Pembrokeshire has a hell of a lot of history. You could see the room where Henry VII was born in, or the beach he escaped from to go to France. Look around old bishops’ palaces or to Scolton Manor – a Victorian country house with a museum built in (well, it’s a separate building and has a load of things to look at, including a lot of artefacts from WW2).  Wales is known for its many castles, and Pembrokeshire is not lacking in any way.

4. Walk around the Pembrokeshire Coast Path


To see the Pembrokeshire Coast at its best, walk around the cliffs and experience it for yourself. Find some beaches or caves you never knew existed or just simply have a stroll in the countryside.

5. Try your hand at some watersports


From surfing to coasteering to kayaking, this really applies for any watersport as they’re almost all available in the county because of its extensive coastline. If that’s your thing, then go for it, there’s plenty of opportunities to try it out. It’s super easy to find some instructors, teachers and equipment rentals.




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'But Feminism's Just Man-Hating, Isn't It?'

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Monday, 1 May 2017

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One of the main misconceptions about feminism, I’d say, is that it’s just about women hating men – thinking they are better than them, superior in some way or another – and I just wanted to use this post to clarify that this IS NOT THE CASE.

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Let’s whip out that definition of feminism again, shall we?


Let’s pick out the key word in there: equal. Feminism is not misandry. Misandry is man-hating, in the same way misogyny is women-hating, and while both are associated with feminism as they relate to inequality, they are not synonymous in any way shape or form. I guess that’s this whole post summarized in a sentence.

Yes, feminism has become mistaken for misandry by many in recent years, so much so that that has become a major stereotype of the movement – one that many people find it difficult to look past. That kind of attitude is very damaging, largely because it further stigmatizes discussion on gender equality and a close-mindedness that is resistant to change of any kind.

But we should think about why that stereotype came about. And we should learn from that to try to make the movement more transparent and accessible so that more people can join the fight and help bring our overarching goal one step nearer.

This stereotype has come around due to those who take on the label ‘feminist’ or even ‘radical feminist’ when their views relate more to misandry and speak in a way that is, for lack of a better phrase, ‘man-hating’, and thus meaning that whoever heard them say such things associate that ‘man-hating’ with feminism. A move incredibly difficult to reverse if left too long or without other feminist influences. I have also seen those who I would consider feminists to claim they hate men, but I know that they don’t actually hate all men, but more the concept or idea of men. The men who enforce the patriarchy and are the ones pushing women down – the more metaphorical men, although that does manifest in some individuals. I think it’s unfair when anyone who claims to hate men do so, because it’s not men they hate, it’s the patriarchy which systematically favours men. Yes, you may hate a man or two (most people do. Why? Because they’re frickin’ individual people), but I do think it’s unfair to make generalisations based on gender when we’re fighting against the exact same thing.

Equality people. Equality. Makes everything better for everyone.




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April 2017 | Monthly Wrap Up

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Friday, 28 April 2017

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April has been great. I feel like I’m getting somewhere.

Favourite part?

There’s honestly been so much going on this month, and that’s been mostly down to the Easter holidays and a little time to relax (although I’ve still been busy, a couple of hours extra sleep has been doing me the world of good).

I’m quite proud of myself as I managed to see a lot of my friends in the holidays whilst actually being quite productive and I think it was really healthy for me.

I went to Bournemouth beach for the day with a group of my friends, and while I did get a bit sunburnt and it was a bit cloudy, I had such a great time.

I saw Beauty and the Beast for the second time (it was just as good the second time round) and had a few cute revision days with friends in coffee shops as well as chill afternoons with pizza and cookies and parties. My grandparents came down for Easter and it was lovely to see them as I hadn’t seen them since Christmas.



A few projects I’ve been working on were completed this month, such as a zine called MASCARA that my friends Anna and Nicola and I collaborated on. We’re not selling it online yet, but if you know any of us IRL just message us and we can get you a copy! My friend Maisie and I also launched a podcast which I’m going to elaborate on later.

Best read?

This month, I’ve read Citizen by Claudia Rankine – a truly incredible book. Please read it. It’s often described as poetry but I think would be more of an amalgamation of genres. Truly amazing. I also read The Wasp Factory by Iain Banks as it is the book I’m studying for my English coursework and will probably be rereading it a lot. It’s good, although very messed up. Earlier this week I read a Graphic Guide on Thatcherism as part of the preparation for my EPQ. Interesting, giving me a good basis but not very detailed (as can be expected). In the past few days I started reading Everyday Sexism by Laura Bates – I’ll give you an update on that next month.
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Favourite tunes?

This section’s getting a bit boring, isn’t it? You know the answer, I’m sure. The Beauty and the Beast and the La La Land soundtracks are, as per usual, on repeat for the majority of this month. For the rest of the month, ABBA’s been dancing in the background alongside Sign of the Times by Harry Styles.

What did I learn?

If I put my mind to projects, I can pull them off. It only takes time and hard work.

What’s happening next month?

May means one thing: exams.

What’s been on my mind?

Politics. A snap election was called in the UK and needless to say, I’m pissed off that I’m only 4 months off from voting. Can’t be bitter, can’t be bitter…

Favourite blogger/vlogger?

I’ve been loving both Lucy Moon and Daniel J. Layton’s VEDA’s this month. I love their videos normally, but I enjoy having an abundance of videos to keep up with.

Favourite post?

I feel really happy with what I’m posting at the moment, but I’d probably have to say Why Elle Woods is my Feminist Icon. I just love her okay!


Biggest inspiration?

I’ve been trying to pre-write all my blog posts for around exam time way earlier than I normally would, and I’ve written most of them by now. That’s been my main drive for that, but in other ways, I’ve been feeling really fulfilled and like I’m going somewhere – like I’m actually accomplishing things, which is helping me tremendously when thinking of new things to do and create.

Any other favourites?

This month I have been OBSESSED with the Guilty Feminist, a podcast hosted by Deborah Frances-White and her other co-hosts and guests. Please listen to this – please.
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I’ve also been loving the Clarins Pure and Radiant Mask this month. I’ve been using it a few times and the small tester bottle that I’ve been using is nearly over so it’s time to say goodbye to it soon as it’s too expensive to buy normally. After using it my skin did feel a lot better after using it, so I’m going to try to use face masks more often, because who doesn’t need a bit of a pamper every now and again?

Downton Abbey has been back this month. I’m now at the beginning of series 4 again. Just before exams. Whoops.

I’ve been loving the new podcast that my friend Maisie and I have launched this month (plug plug plug). How could I say anything less than that? It’s called The Actor and the Writer and the first episode is now up on SoundCloud. Go follow us on there and on Twitter for further updates!



If you liked this post you might like: March 2017 | Monthly Wrap Up

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Can Men Be Feminists?

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Wednesday, 26 April 2017

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So, can men be feminists?

The short answer: yes, yes they can.

Before going any further, let’s remind ourselves of the definition of feminism:


To me, this seems to be a universal campaign.

A lot of the time, and in my experience, the prefix of ‘fem’ in the word feminism is enough to put off many men. They can feel threatened and excluded by the feminist movement, all over one syllable. But the fact is that the ‘fem’ in feminism wasn’t deliberately put there to scare away the men (Shock horror!!!!), but is in fact there to highlight the main focus of the movement: to protect and promote women’s rights – all women, everywhere. It is the feminine traits that are looked down upon by society, in both men and women, so the nomenclature of the movement highlights that. Men shouldn’t feel excluded because of its presence there.

The feminist movement is about the promotion of women’s rights and place in society, so that equality can finally become a reality. And the role of men as the more privileged members of society is important as their voices can be used to get those who may have ignored a woman’s voice to listen. But whilst men’s voices are useful to further the feminist cause, they should not become the cause, if you get what I’m saying?

It is important that the members of society who have more power get behind the feminist movement, but as they are the ones with more privilege, their voices should not take priority over the ones whose voices are already behind swept aside.

But men can be feminists. In all senses of the word.

They can fight for equality, call others out on their misogyny and call themselves a feminist. Just so long as they don’t take attention away from the people who they’re fighting for.




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