Monday 18 January 2016

Heartbreak.

There are many different types of heartbreak. There is the obvious,in your face, romantic heartbreak that is the type usually associated with the word. When we hear of heartbreak, we automatically conjure up an image of a romantic relationship gone wrong, empty tubs of ice-cream and a bed that hasn’t been left for days. The famous kind of heartbreak.

But that type of heartbreak is much rarer to us as individuals than there types are. The heartbreaks we feel every day. Some of us have never felt a heartbreak that has occurred as as result of a romantic relationship ending. I, for one, haven’t, and I know plenty of other people who haven’t either. But you still can’t say that we haven’t felt heartbreak; it’s just been in a slightly different manner.

We feel heartbreak at even the tiniest of things:

Eagerly going to a cafĂ© or canteen to get something in particular for lunch, only to find it’s sold out unusually early. Trying on a dress or skirt, or some other item of clothing that you absolutely love , only to find that it doesn’t come in your size. Losing a favourite book. Locking yourself out of your phone and having to wipe it clear of everything (including years’ worth of photos) in order for you to get back in it.

All little heartbreaks caused by little hiccups in every day life.

A video of Carrie Hope Fletcher’s, posted about 10 months ago, focussed on this same subject and what she said really resonated with me. The message she left with me was that I shouldn’t be embarrassed by any heartbreak I feel, no matter what the cause would be. It meant that I cared enough about something to feel that. 

Even though the examples I shared may seem a little silly and too insignificant to even be thought of for long. Of course, I’ve had bigger heartbreak than that caused over not getting the sandwich I wanted for lunch.

Leaving primary school (more the friends I had there) was a big deal for me then and I was really upset for about a day or two, maybe a few more, until I was over it and looking forward to secondary school. I cared about primary school a lot but new things were happening that took over from that, and it didn’t last long.

I think that my biggest heartbreak happened when I moved. My heart was aching for the place I considered (and still kind of do consider) “home”, for months after I had left it. In fact, I can’t quite pin point the day that my heart stopped aching for it; it left so gradually that I was really unaware of it happening. It was unlike anything I have ever felt before and I’m sure that I developed a lot as a person because of it. I would even go as to say that I’m proud of that heartbreak, because I know that I really cared for the place I moved from and can now appreciate it a lot more than I did while I lived there.

I guess that I wanted to pass on the lesson I learned from Carrie: You should never be ashamed of any heart ache that you feel. You should never feel embarrassed of what caused that heartache - if it’s over something small or something big. Your feelings are valid, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.



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Jemima x



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